Chip and Skip's Job Hunt
by PPP SSC
Summary: Another story I wrote a long time ago but didn't get around to uploading. Takes place in the future when Chip and Skip are looking for jobs. They see what professions the other bean scouts have gone into.


Chip and Skip's Job Hunt

Once upon a time there were two dung beetles. By once upon a time I mean now. Their names were Chip and Skip. They were bean scouts growing up. Now they are twenty-five and have not yet chosen a job.

"This is horrible, Chip!" Skip screamed. "We're the only ones who don't have jobs!"

"Well, it could just be a misprint."

"And I wonder why I was a better bean scout than you." Skip said, remembering his sash of merit badges he wore proudly each day to not be confused with Chip.

"I know! Let's go to the library!"

"Can we read?"

"I forget… I think we can read now."

"Then let's go!"

As soon as they got to the library they immediately recognized another bean scout as the librarian. He may have been jinxed and slightly high-maintenance but the other scouts still liked him, and he liked the other scouts. He was stamping books quietly, except for the occasional sneeze. He saw Chip and Skip enter.

"Welcome to the library. You can call me Mr. GP. Treat the library with respect and it will serve you many years." He said this with utter seriousness and moved his spectacles down to his nose. Sure it was hard to see this way but it made him look professional.

"We're looking for a book on how to get a job."

"Check the reference section. It should be there. But don't make a mess!" Mr. GP said to them with the sternness he needed to show the scarabs he wasn't kidding.

"Thanks Mr. GP!" Skip screamed.

"Keep your voice down! It's a library," Mr. GP whispered loudly so he wouldn't break his own rule but Skip would hear him.

"Lessee, how to make salt, how to kill salt, how to eat a piece of poop…who needs a book for that? Ah here it is, 'how to get a job'."

"The first thing you must do to get a job is call the company."

Chip and Skip dialed one of the greatest manufacturers in the world: Kumpannii Company.

They heard a male secretary on the other side, and to their surprise, it was another bean scout. They'd recognize that voice and pattern anywhere. "Kumpannii, please hold."

"He was born for this job." Chip said.

"After you do that, meet the boss for an interview."

"Okay."

Chip and Skip went to Kumpannii Company and went to have an interview with the boss. They saw the secretary, a large grin on his face repeatedly saying, "Kumpannii, please hold," and never anything longer than "You got Kumpannii on line."

"Excuse us, but where is the boss?"

"Upstairs!" The secretary responded.

So they went upstairs and found the boss's room. And guess what… it was another bean scout.

"What? What are you guys doing here?!" he scolded.

"We need a job real bad, Ed."

"You can't call me that. To anyone besides another boss, I'm Mr. Platypus."

"The librarian was nicer." Skip said.

"I'm not the librarian! Or the secretary, or the accountant, or the waiters, or the clown, or

the guys who make the pizza at CEC!"

"Who are a lot of those people?"

"They're all bean scouts just like you and me."

"They are?"

"Yeah. In fact, why don't you leave here, and go see them now."

They went to the accounting place. "Welcome to Raj's palace of accounting. I am Raj. Pleased to see you." Raj looked considerably bigger than he did when he was a bean scout. Funny thing though- the secretary hadn't grown much.

"We just came to see how you were doing. Now we go see the waiters."

Chip and Skip went to Yum House. They saw their old scoutmaster and his assistant (who did all the work) ordering dinner from what appeared to be a lemming. The scoutmaster's assistant said, "I can't choose. Just give me something with very low… like zero milligrams of sodium."

It also appeared that a former squirrel scout was on a romantic date with a clown. A different lemming was serving them.

They toasted their wine and kissed. Chip and Skip found this odd, so they asked who they were.

"My name is Patricia," the woman said, "And this is my husband."

"You married a clown?"

"Yep. Isn't he a hottie!?"

"Get happy!" the clown screamed squeaking his nose.

They asked Patricia what she did for a living. She said "Someone has to take care of our goosekeys."

"What's a goosekey?"

"You are silly. A goosekey is what you get when a monkey and a mongoose breed."

On their way they went to CEC, where they met two loons. They knew the loons well. "Welcome to CEC. Can I take your order?"

"Yeah. I'd like to see your brother."

"Over there helping with that freaky guinea owl's birthday."

"I heard that!" called out the voice of the librarian.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the library?" asked Chip.

"The library closes at 4 on Saturdays. Besides, how could I let work get in the way of my

daughter?"

Mr. GP had taken the loon's remark as an insult, but truly the daughter was strange. She had fur on her front and feathers on her back, and her beak had a rodent-like nose placed on top of it. She looked like she was about to explode with mucus as well.

"I had to look all over town to find a hypoallergenic cake that tastes good and smells wonderful, but I did." Mr. GP said.

The tall loon sang, "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Delilah. Happy birthday to you."

Delilah was pleased. "Present, daddy?"

Mr. GP pulled out a box. Inside was a framed photo of Delilah as a baby with a book: How Not to Myrfh into a Coma. Written by S. Guinea Pig- who was probably Mr. GP.

"Thanks daddy! I'll remember that!"

Chip and Skip were so distracted by sentiment that they forgot what they were looking for.

Mrs. GP said, "I have a job for you guys."

"Yeah?"

"You can watch Delilah while I'm at a conference in Taiwan and Sammy's at the library."

Yes, how sweet it was. So Delilah GP grew up happy. And Chip and Skip finally got jobs. I can't say the same about Gretchen… well that's another story.

THE END


End file.
